I Don't Like My Child
What happens when you just don't like your child? Have you ever had a toddler who is a biter and you're too embarrassed to let him play with anyone else? Or a preschooler who speaks to you so rudely you just can't wait to get him into bed at night? Or a child who is lying to your face and refuses to admit he's caught out? A sullen teenager that you'd rather not be around? When you look at your child, the fruit of your womb, and think, "I actually don't like this person right now," it is very disheartening. Added to your feelings of disgust at your child's behaviour, you also feel guilty. It feels like you have failed as a parent and you wonder how you are going to rectify the situation, if it's not already too late. If only you could control your child... We all have moments when we feel as if moulding little people into decent humans is just too hard for us. If it's any comfort, you're not the first parent to find your child hard to love at times. In parenting, as in marriage, love is sometimes a choice that supercedes how we feel and is given irrespective of not being deserved. When you have to love your child with an unconditional love, devoid of the feelings of adoration you had for your cooing baby, it doesn't mean you are a bad parent. It means you are a parent who is going to push through the tough times. Probably the best tool we have for convincing our hearts to keep loving is to take a long, hard look in the mirror. Relook at Ephesians or Corinthians or any of the New Testament epistles to remind yourself how far you still have to go, and it will help you to have a more reasonable expectation of your child. Read the following three verses and take heart: God has exactly the same parenting problem. We were unlikable. But He chose unconditional love, and we can, too. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.Proverbs 22:6 'Love' and 'Like' are not always the same thing. We will like what is likeable, but let us loveeven the unlovable, by serving, training, persevering, being kind, generous and patient, modelling the unconditional, unfailing, all-encompassing love of our infinite Father, and let us never give up.
