Creating a Peaceful Home

 

How pleasant to have a home that is a sanctuary from our busy lives. Sometimes my home reminds me of a sanctuary - a bird sanctuary, with every kind of screeching, hooting, cheeping, shrieking, quacking, tweeting sound you can imagine. Not to mention the mandatory bits of shredded food, splashes of water to aid the muddying of footprints, and scatterings of poop, too. Unfortunately my husband and I had a lapse of sanity and decided to celebrate our 6th child's potty training achievements by getting puppies. Two of them. We've always wanted to see if we could manage twins. As it turns out, we can't.

 

When your home is the junction of a number of people's busy lives, you have to work really hard to keep it peaceful. Recently our schedule has been full of late nights and lots of people. I write this on one of the only nights in many weeks that we've actually just been home as a family without guests. When we tell our children to put on their pyjamas, they say, "Why? Where are we going?" While our entire family thrives on being with people, there is also a necessary balance that is put out when we are too busy. Late nights mean late mornings, no time for breakfast or special family time in the morning, which results in unhealthy snacking, disconnected relationships, and generally a dissolution of peace.

 

So, what are the things we need to bring peace back into our homes?

 

A Manageable Schedule

 

Usually one person in the marriage is the primary keeper of the family schedule. Ideally when we have kids, this role should go to the parent who is in touch with the children and able to ascertain how they are coping with the busyness of the family. However, if one partner is more insular and a homebody, and the other is more relational and outgoing, you need to come to a compromise before dates are made and invitations accepted on what is a reasonable 'master' schedule for your family. Perhaps you will have a general rule of no more than 3 nights out in a week. Or you could set a limit on how late you will allow guests to stay around your dining room table before you start turning the lights off and changing into your pyjamas.

 

A Set Routine

 

Nothing makes life easier than knowing what you're going to do and when you're going to do it. Aim to have not only a weekly routine but also a daily routine. When you do things in a predictable order, you save a lot of time and brain power. A set routine becomes habit forming and makes each task far more achievable. If every day starts with sliced apples and cuddles on the bed, followed by breakfast and a family devotion, followed by personal ablutions and bedroom chores, each task flows into the next without much argument, or indecision. Kids will soon give up fighting an everyday expectation, and it makes things easier for adults, too.

 

Healthy Habits

 

A habit is a wonderful thing. With a little bit of effort invested into forming it, it can carry you through achievements you never thought possible. Start your day off well with a wholesome breakfast. Sliced dried apricots as a topping for your cereal does wonders for your sugar levels and satiety control. I am convinced that drinking water regularly counteracts most unhealthy cravings. In fact, I have just downloaded a 'drink water' app on my phone to go off every waking hour to remind me to drink a glass of water so that I can form a new habit around that. When we feel good physically, we feel better emotionally and have a higher capacity to handle the stress and pressures of our lives.

 

Relationship Investments

 

When setting a master weekly schedule, be sure to include the amount of time with your spouse and with each of your kids that is needed for the relationship to flourish. There is nothing quite so disturbing of our peace as a disconnected or fractured relationship. Your marriage will require some time for discussing admin, some time for building your friendship, and some time for making love, at the very least. Children require time together as a family, perhaps around regular meal times, or special bedtime routines, and they also need a little bit of special alone time. Added to that, for peace to really reign in our homes, we need to be with them enough to help them build good habits and to bring correction where they are slipping into careless behaviour. This is understandably difficult for most busy families, particularly when both parents are working and/or there are a number of children in the house, but just remember to weight it heavily when you are considering how to best create your master schedule. This is one area where investing yields great returns.

 

And that's it to get us started. One final area for me, which might seem a bit odd, is that I love to create peace in my home by simplifying the decor in my house. I have very few (read 'zero') pictures on my walls in my living area as I find for me a scene of simple space gives my mind permission to dream. The interior is painted a simple light blue and my empty expanses of wall allow me to project my busy thoughts without predetermined clutter. Now all I have to do is potty train the puppies, and I'm ready to call my home a haven!