The Lies We Believe
I have a unsettled feeling in me and I'm not feeling too good about myself. I snap at the children to get out from under my feet and into the car and the whole trip to the ballet lesson there is a cloud over my head and I can't remember what caused it.
Sitting down in the beautiful park outside the ballet studio, the children run off to play and I have a moment to think about what caused my mood. I can pin it to a certain conversation, but I'm still not sure what exactly the reason is.
I ask myself an interesting question, or perhaps God asks me. 'What lie are you believing right now that is causing this mood?'
And things start getting clearer as the cloud over my head starts thinning to let through the light.
In the conversation I felt weak. I felt that someone else was doing better than me in a certain area and that I would be measured against her and found wanting. And yet immediately as I forced the thought to the front of my mind I could recognize the lie. Yes, the wonderful girl I had been speaking to might well be better than me in this area, amongst others. But the lie was that I needed to be measured against her. I am Jaci, and when I'm being Jaci freely and confidently, no-one can be a better Jaci than me. And that's all I have to be. Whenever I see the beauty of the masterpieces of humanity around me, and feel a desire to imitate them, I only ever become a cheap copy, an imposter, an imitation.
And the cloud over my head lifts entirely as I remember how much God delights in me EXACTLY as I am, and did so long before I even knew how to attempt to deserve it.
Yes, God made me wonderfully, in His image even, if you dare to believe it.
I see little people in the park playing with a bat and ball, my little people, and I know they believe it of me. I don't have to be something to everybody, but at this stage I'm still everything to a few very forgiving little somebody's. The sun is shining clearly now and it's time I went to play cricket.
