Christmas Series: #2 Father Christmas and Christmas Stockings
Deciding on whether or not to continue with the tradition of Father Christmas and Christmas stockings seems to be a hot topic in many Christian homes at the moment. We want to teach our children the true meaning of Christmas - that is that God chose to give up His throne and come down to the earth in the person of Jesus, in order to show humanity what being human without being sinful looks like, and to make a way to untangle us from sin so we can live in the freedom and fullness that He intended for us. Christmas celebrates the beginning of that hope. I can only imagine the tension build-up and expectation in the heavenlies on that phenomenal night that He was born into this world.
And yet we also don't want to deprive them of the joy and fun that many of us experienced as children growing up, where our 'great' expectation was what Santa might bring us to find in the morning. Anticipation is a wonderful emotion and giving our children their hearts' desires is such a joy for us as parents and grandparents.
At one stage we tackled the issue of Father Christmas by answering a few questions that our daughter had. She had the question, as many children do, of how Father Christmas could be real, when it seemed like a logistical impossibility. We answered that it was magical - and we explained that most magic was a 'trick' or game, meant for fun and excitement. She asked if there was just one Father Christmas and we answered that many people wanted to spoil the children and give them gifts. She asked who would want to give the children gifts, and we replied, someone that loves them. She asked if Father Christmas might be a different person in every house, and we said, it could be. She asked if it could be a grandparent or parent pretending to be Father Christmas because 'they love spoiling us'. We said, yes. She asked if they dressed up like Father Christmas and we said, they would only need a disguise if they were going to be spotted. The magical fun continued, but our children knew the truth. We told them not to ruin the game for anyone else who was still playing.
However, a year or two later, as their characters became even more beautiful, the questions about our inherited traditions became more difficult. Finally they asked me, Mom, don't you think it is a bit rude to hang up an empty stocking and expect someone to fill it with gifts by morning? That seems really demanding.
I had to agree.
We have a huge pile of wrapped presents under the Christmas tree for days before Christmas, we put out empty stockings that they know will be full of gifts by morning and then we try to get our children's attention to teach them the real meaning of Christmas. It makes me think of a pastor putting a pole dancer on stage next to him, and then asking the people to focus on him while he preaches and not to be distracted. "Hey, this pole and dancer is just here to get you interested in church. It's not the main point! Focus on what I'm saying!" It's just unlikely.
Experience has shown us that in our family, when we decentralise the presents, we all end up having whole lot more fun on Christmas. So far, we have still given our children gifts on Christmas, but it has been perhaps the day before, or at an unexpected time, and the build up before hand has not been laden with any expectation of the when and what of presents. The only time presents are mentioned before Christmas, is when we ask if there is anyone we would like to bless in order to honour Jesus on His birthday.
The concept of Father Christmas in itself does not really bother me, but the entitlement and selfishness it breeds cannot have been a joy to the 'Birthday Boy'. As we've allowed Jesus to be the central figure of His birthday celebration, and the reason for the generosity, for the decorations, for the feasting and for the celebrating, Father Christmas has just kind of faded into insignificance. We have not had to explain the secret to the younger children in our family. When asked on the playground if they believe in Father Christmas, they just reply, we don't really play that game.
