Starting School is Hard
Sometimes I'm embarrassed to write down in a public forum the lessons in learning as a mom because I feel sure that the rest of the world has probably got these things right and it's just me that is a little bit crazy.
The thing is that I really love those kids of mine. Like to pieces. Like my heart turns to mush when I'm dealing with them. I'm normally a remarkably level-headed person, which is why I'm kind of embarrassed that I seem to be the most emotional mom around. As I keep my head low at school and watch the other parents through my fringe to hide the tears in my eyes I am astounded at how relaxed they all look, like sending your child off for someone else to love and care for all day at school is really not anything to worry about.
They come home and my first question is, "are you ok?" As in, did you survive? Was anyone mean to you? Did the teacher speak kindly to you? Did the other children include you?
The other day my little boy, who has been in 'big school' (Grade 1) for only 2 weeks, started vomiting in class and was dragged around by a strange teacher he didn't know (not his class teacher) trying to get him to a bathroom. They happened to walk past my eldest daughter who jumped to care for him. "Are you ok, boy?" she asked sweetly, protectively concerned. He must have been so relieved to see his big sister - practically his second mom. She was brushed off abruptly by the teacher (who had no idea they were related, my boy being peach-colored and his big sister being brown).
When relaying the story to me that afternoon, my daughter said, "I sure wouldn't like it if someone dragged me around by the arm like that. That looked scary!"
Yes, school is scary, and there will be instances of heartache and bullying, sometimes even by a teacher whose grace has run out at that moment.
But as I write this, I am sitting in the car waiting for my kids to finish school, and I spy my big boy through the fence, playing on the field while waiting for his sisters to come out of class so they can all walk up to the car park together. He is in his smart uniform, keeping his collared shirt tucked in, his socks pulled up and his regulation hat firmly on his head even while he runs and scores a goal. He looks so happy and I know he's going to love school. He will learn what breaks friendships and what keeps them going. He will learn what it takes to be competitive, and how to be part of a team. He will learn that different adults have different thresholds of tolerance in different areas. He will begin to interact with the big wide world, and as I prepare to welcome his smiling, red little face into my car to tell me about his day, I pray that my children will always have a peaceful, loving, safe place to call home.
