Learning to Relax
Being a mom can be an attention monopolizing task. Very often I have a nagging feeling that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing because the children are 'taking up all of my time'.
Now with the kids all on school holidays I find myself consumed with fun activities with them, and even just playing at home with them, and yet when I look at my mood, I don't see joy radiating. The word 'enjoyment' describes getting joy from the activities you are involved with, and I find myself admitting that enjoyment was not as evident as it should be considering I was doing typically fun things with my favorite people.
I took it to God, and He revealed something interesting. He showed me that I was living under the compulsion that I needed to do things for Him - good things, like tell people about how much He loves them and how He wishes they would accept His offer to be reconciled with Him. I feel compelled to write more, to do more, to say more for His sake.
But God reminded me that I am first and foremost His daughter and that His primary desire is for me to rest in His presence and to experience the peace that comes from knowing that He is ultimately in control. I am not the project leader of His campaign. I am just a willing instrument in His hand.
I got a funny picture of an unmanned electric chainsaw whizzing around like crazy without anyone controlling it. As it flew around it chopped wildly through plants and branches in its path, attempting to do it's 'job'. I felt a little sting as I realized that in accusing my children of taking up all my time and distracting me from 'more important' tasks, I had effectively cast them as the branches in this picture, casualties that got in the way of the chainsaw doing it's work.
I felt like God said, Chill. Be at peace. You do not need to find work to do for Me. Your purpose is not tied up in how I might use you. You are My daughter. In Me you find peace, and joy. Yes, and enjoyment. Enjoy your children. Enjoy your holiday. Enjoy your husband. Enjoy Me. And I'll let you know when I 'need' you.
