Persevering When You Want to Give Up
I just saw the chiropractor again. It has been about 21 months since I fell and tore my hips apart at the front and back joints. It has been a slow journey but I have recovered so much further than the surgeons, physio and chiro thought possible without surgery. But I so badly want it all to be over. It's been a long road and I am tired of this fight. Today the chiro told me I needed to have more x-ray's in case we need to include surgery as an option again. And I had to hold back the tears.
We all have moments, sometimes more often than we'd like, when we feel like it would be easier to stop fighting and accept the status quo - accept life as it is.
Perhaps we want to quit the fight for healthy bodies, or give up hope that our marriages will pull through tough times. It might be that we look at our child who is being disciplined about the same thing in November that we were trying to teach him in January and think, "What's the point?" Or perhaps you have a child with learning difficulties and just don't want to keep pushing for the goals to be achieved that will enable them to go up to the next grade in the new year.
It reminds me of rock climbing, where the climbers will drive a metal peg into a crack or seam in the rock with a hammer, and then pull up so they can put another peg a little higher, and then pull up to there. The metal peg acts as an anchor which protects the climber against the consequences of a fall, and assists in progressing forward. Inch by inch they move upward, hammering pegs into the cliff as they go to make sure they won't fall too far if they slip.
Sometimes in life the the rock face in front of you looks so formidably hard, and, looking up, it looks so dangerously steep. And yet as you look around you, you realise that it is beautiful out here, and with each inch you keep going upward the view is getting more spectacular. You look down and realise how far you've come, albeit one peg at a time, and you realise that you are braver and stronger than you thought.
The journey is hard and sometimes long, but it is worth it. Living a long and healthy life is worth the exercise, healthy eating and medical care. Showing His love through our marriages is worth the sacrifice and commitment. Fighting the good fight to equip our children for life is worth every moment of patient teaching and loving discipline.
And for me, in this current battle, there are so many reasons to keep fighting for improvement. Glorifying God with being able to dance, playing tennis with my children, and even perhaps one day being able to carry around my grandchildren, is worth it. So bring it on. Let's do whatever it takes.
