Early Character Development
They say that if you want a value to become inherent in a child then you should teach them very young, rather than protect them from the lesson. For example, rather than shield your children from being exposed to a drunkard on the street, you should point the drunkard out to them and explain, "That's what happens when you love alcohol. It's not for children or people who are not able to just have one beer and then stop. It will ruin your life and make you unable to look after your family or make money so that you can live in a house." That way, when they are old enough to make their own decisions there is a deep-rooted knowledge of alcohol being undesirable in large quantities, even if they don't remember why or where they learnt this lesson. It has become internalised. One of the values I would hope to teach my children very young is how to handle their wealth without hoarding, but being generous. The conversation in the back of my car yesterday brought me much amusement, and also real joy. To put it into context, they were about to receive a few hundred rand in payment each for an advert they had been in. My 8 year old daughter started, "When I get the money, I'm going to buy myself a surfboard!" Me (from the front): I didn't say you could spend it... Jada (11): Yes, guys, let's save our money, because when you save it you end up getting more! Jed (6): Or we could give it away. Whenever I give my birthday money to poor people, God gives me more and more money. Kiara (8): But that's not a good reason to give your money away, boy. We should just be generous. Jed: I know! I don't give it away for that reason, but it's still what happens. I would just give my money to poor people for nothing, but every time God does give me more. Jada: Like, who cares, people, money is just a substance anyway! Kiara: Yes, we shouldn't make money our cornerstone. Children are hilarious. I know these three still have so much maturing to do, and their thoughts will still be refined tremendously. But the basic elements of what they believe and who they are are formulated so young (before the age of 6, apparently). It makes me realise how essential it is to spend quality time explaining how things work to my remaining three preschoolers and toddlers. I want to be the one to answer their never ending questions and help them develop their world views. I want to give them the major blocks and values on which their characters should be built. Spending time with our young children is often exhausting (they have so much more energy than us!) and sometimes seems like a waste of time where nothing much is achieved. Our to-do lists look just the same as they did before we started! But if we can try and understand the long term benefits and the pain that we short-circuit by spending time moulding our little children before it is too late, hopefully we will realise what an incredibly valuable use of our time (and money, if you have to give up a salary) it is.
