Is spanking your children the Christian way to discipline them? What does the bible teach about corporal punishment?
Spankings have in some circles, and some countries, become taboo, and Christians have been notorious for favouring this method of discipline. The paraphrased bible verse ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ has been used both to secure God’s approval of corporal punishment, and to point out the alleged abusive discipline of Christian parents who spank their children.
The bible verse actually reads, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13: 24)
Biblically speaking, God does not prescribe the method of discipline so much as exhort parents not to “withhold discipline” (Proverbs 23:13) from their children. “God disciplines those he loves” (Proverbs 3:12), but history shows us that he disciplines in different ways for different people and at different times.
Spanking is not necessarily ‘God’s way’ and we are not obliged to discipline our children with it as Christians - however, the bible teaches us that he is okay with loving discipline in this form.
More importantly, God wants us not to neglect our children, but to be actively involved in training them and preparing them for their futures. He exhorts parents to love their children enough to guide them with discipline and to protect them from falling prey to laziness, and unruliness, and all the dangers that come with being untaught and undisciplined.
The bibles references to discipline are incredibly loving and show a heart that is devoted to the best interests of the child. Proverbs 3:12 says, “The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” and Proverbs 19:18 says, “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”
Discipline, correctly administered, is not abuse. Lack of discipline, in the name of children’s rights or anything else, is neglect. Proverbs 29:15 “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.” It is sad to see when a child is discriminated against by his/her teachers and peers and other adults, due to ill-discipline. It is a gift to train and teach our children in how to be respectful, and how to play fair in the real world, where they are not the centre.
Whether it’s corporal punishment, time-outs, reality discipline, privileges removed, or any other new idea, discipline must be effective and consistent. Ideally, the child should expect it. There should be no surprise smacks or yells or slaps. It should communicate love and be for training.
All methods of discipline need to be applied with wisdom and discernment. The wrong type of discipline applied to the wrong child or in the wrong way can be harmful to their development. This does not just apply to smacks. To send a child to their room, or to the naughty corner, or even the ‘get good’ chair, when that particular child’s love language is being together with you, may be crueler than a quick smack. By disciplining with the time-out method you are affectively denying that child love in the way that he understands it.
Spanking is a tool for discipline, that when administered with love, a gentle heart and without anger, can be a tool that is very effective.
Spanking as a Form of Discipline
