We want our children to be growing consistently. Like in any area of training, for improvements we need to be intentional about moving them to move forward. We don't want them to let slide lessons that they have already learned.
To get the best out of our children, for their sake, for God's sake, and for ours, we need to be very intentional about knowing our children. We need to be observing them intentionally, constantly, and watching for:
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areas of improvement where we can ask more of them,
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emotional needs,
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standards we have set that are too hard for them.
When you know your children well, you can discipline them with conviction. For example, watch one night to see what it is that makes your kids talk after lights out. Are they able to cover them selves with the blanket, or are they too young? Would it help if you reminded them to have a sip of water or go to the loo before bedtime so they don't have to get up again? Are they too young to know what it means to keep quiet - do they still need to hum themselves to sleep like many older babies do?
When you KNOW that they are capable of obedience in a certain area, but are not measuring up, then you can proceed to discipline them without second guessing whether you are being unreasonable.
Observing intentionally means not always leading the activities when you are with your children. You are training them to be independent, so you need to sometimes just be there to watch them, allowing them to lead their own game or choose their own activity. You can remind them when they're forgetting the rules of a game, or disrespecting property, or dishonouring people. You are there if they get into difficulty, but ideally you just watch and get to know them better.
This will help you in knowing what lessons you need to be teaching them in quiet moments, perhaps through a personal story, or a reading from the bible, or a storybook that teaches that lesson.
You will most likely be surprised at the high standards of obedience, manners and helpfulness your children can achieve when you are pushing them gently and with the confidence that you know them well enough to be sure they can achieve a little bit more.